get your heart pumping,
and keep moving.

inspiration which perks up your senses tells you that
you've been in the dumps for too long.

1. during ethics today, it was a lesson on loyalty vs righteousness. slowly, we diverted and the teacher told us stories. she told us one about her when she was a little girl. she talked of how her family used to be very poor. she was unable to have all the pretty things(like Ribbons) which her friends had cus her family simply couldnt afford it. she was upset and often cried because she did not have all the pretty ribbons and toys her friends had. yet her mother told her this, Study hard, get a scholarship, apply into a university, get straight As, get a job, and you'd have all the things you ever wanted. she knew she wanted all the things her friends had, which her family could not provide her with. she followed what her mother said, to the expense of being antisocial during university. it was a long and hard process. all because, she knew she needed those straight As. and she achieved that, and got a job. from her first pay, she had two high teas in that afternoon, and bought herself 2 beautiful dresses.

been too ignorant all these while, unaware of all the implications this extra year brought. i never knew, the screwedup plannings; selfish. the consequences it brought. the new adjustments, the rearrangements. yet- what do i want to get out of it ?
am i to put myself to a position like the girl above?
to concentrate solely on my studies. and my life revolve around studies?
what am i able to achieve?
why arent i achieving it?

nobody said it was easy,
nobody said it was gonna be this tough.

2. truthfully, daily trainings have sort of been a routine for me. yes, i do enjoy trainings, being able to race, to see if i've improved, to see if there's space for improvement. the teamates, these are the reasons i look forward to every training. like i said, no one's gonna remember how many rounds of circuits you did for training, or the many 16km water trngs. but its the people which keeps me going back for more. its knowing that these people are beside me, spurring me on along this journey. its these people who understand what i'm going through, and are overcoming all these obstacles together with me which keeps me going back for more. no one likes to feel the pain, the ache, the intense disappointment some trainings bring. once accumulated, it gets heavy, and i get weary sometimes.

during circuits the last land training, there was this girl who, while in pushup position, had fits. she collapsed, the grass was in her mouth. that look- i'd never forget. she did mention her medical history before, yet did not harp on it. she wasnt the fastest runner for the trials, yet she did not dismiss it saying that it was cus of her illness which slowed her down. her eyes opened, grass brushed away by fellow teamates, it brought me to feel Respect for her. i never did hear her complain, wanting to give up. she silently did all that she could, before she eventually couldnt take it anymore. i heard of stories where she was rejected by other ccas previously cus they felt that she just wasnt medically fit enough. yet she never stopped trying. track, swimming, badminton, Rejection. and now she tries out canoeing, my heart goes out to her. the gungho spirit in her, unwilling to be bogged down by her illness the rest of her life. she loved sports and the sun, and she was not going to compromise. dangerous yes, but if she doesnt try, she'd never know how it feels like being in a team. all she can is to push away her mental barriers, and attempt each training to the best of her abilities.
her spirit, that i must learn.
to never give up.
when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

its the little things you hear/see around you which might make a difference in your life.

if you wanna get better grades, you can.
if you wanna do more pullups, you can.
if you wanna row faster, you can.
if you wanna run faster, you can.
if you wanna be a better friend, you can.
if you wanna be a better teamate, you can.
if you wanna be a better daughter, you can.
; if you believe.

results do not come easily,
it takes hard work and perserverence.
every second counts, every stroke counts.
Regret is not a word in my dictionary ever again.

3 days.
msn.
status online.
no hi.
no jokes.
no laughter.
no follow up smses.
went offline,
went offline too.
that Song.
memories.
say hi?
Pride.